[There's a brief second of disappointment, only because for a moment Ryan thinks he means "I want us to stay just friends", but as he goes on Ryan eases. He starts to really understand what Min means.]
Dude, that's not weird at all. I mean...we're already closer than most people are. We kinda got a head start on a lot of what goes into a relationship, I think? So...that makes sense. What we have with kissing makes sense.
[He does neglect to add the "sometimes" that followed kissing, and he decides now isn't the time to bring up that he'd like to work their way up to fooling around someday. But what they have with kissing? That feels easy to do.]
So. If it's what we have but with kissing...do you want to try it? See if you like it?
[So casual. So nonchalant. Like their entire future isn't hanging on whether or not they like kissing each other. Like Ryan hasn't spent forever wishing he could kiss Min-Gi.]
I-I mean! That's probably a good bar, right? If you don't wind up being into it, we can just...keep doing what we already do, and maybe it'll be alright? Probably?
[And maybe, if Min-Gi doesn't wind up liking it, Ryan can be satisfied he got to kiss him even once.]
[What starts off as a relief quickly fades as Ryan suggests they kiss now. Part of him had known that was the natural progression, but to actually hear him say it...
Min-Gi forgets how to breathe for a minute, staring at Ryan with wide eyed terror. He's never kissed anyone before. What happens if Ryan thinks he's bad at it?
Or...
God.
Why is Ryan hinging it on whether he likes it? What happens if he doesn't? Are there people out there who just don't like kissing? Is that a thing that can happen? What are they supposed to do if he doesn't like it?
After a silence that stretches on for far too long, Min-Gi nods tentatively. There's only one way to know for sure, and putting it off isn't going to help him feel any less nervous.]
Yeah. If you want to.
[Totally cool. Totally casual. He edges a little closer to Ryan, trying to ignore how much it feels like his heart's about to explode.]
So what kind of kiss are we going for here...?
[This is so very, very not normal pre-kiss conversation, and even he's aware of that. He desperately doesn't want to screw this up by doing things wrong though.]
[Ryan's heart also might explode, but fortunately he's better at faking it. He has plenty of kiss practice, enough to know what kinds of things make a kiss good or bad and how that can change based on what they want.
He also knows perfectly well that Min-Gi has absolutely no idea what he's going for, but he doesn't seem to mind that either. He inches closer as well, pulling one leg out of the water and turning so they can face each other.
It is through sheer force of will that he doesn't chuckle at Min pretending to be more confident and calm about this. He promised he wouldn't laugh, and he won't, but it's very cute in the face of their first kiss.]
Shhh. I told you; I'm going to help you figure it out.
[Min-Gi doesn't have to pretend he knows what he's doing, because Ryan will gladly take the lead. Blindly, he reaches down to find one of Min's hands, so he can lace their fingers together. Their faces are already so close.]
Tilt your head a little? Opposite of me.
[Ryan shows him what to mirror, a slight tilt to the side so they won't bump noses. This puts them so close that Min will feel Ryan's words, warm against his lips.]
Follow my lead. Okay?
[Then, Ryan leans in and closes the gap between them. It's gentle, because he can't imagine a first kiss with Min-Gi not being gentle and soothing, especially when they've been so worried about everything. No tongues, no teeth - just the smallest amount of pressure and soft movement. Easy to mimic little things, like focusing his attention at Min's lower lip, and finding a simple rhythm to their motions.
But most importantly, it's slow. He takes his time with it, to gauge how Min reacts.]
[It's both reassuring and deeply intimidating to have Ryan to show him how to do this. It strangely reminds him of when they'd been young, Ryan leading then in games he'd learned from his sisters. Back before Min had started to care so much about how he looked when he tried the things he wasn't good at.
There are plenty of things Ryan can do better than him, but these days they usually stick to their strengths, letting the other pick up the slack in their weaker areas. It's strange to find himself in this position now. It's nice, but leaves him a little uncertain even if he knows Ryan isn't about to judge him.
He starts to mirror him before he's even told to, lifting one leg out of the water to face Ryan, and leaning in instinctively when he does.
He does glance around briefly, as though someone may have appeared to intrude on their private moment. There's no one there, of course. It's just as much their own quiet space as it has been the whole afternoon.
When their lips touch it's awkward and he doesn't know quite what to do, but Ryan is gentle and patient. It isn't too difficult to mimic him, and by the time they part he's almost relaxed.
Almost.
There's still a clear nervousness in his expression as he looks at Ryan to see his reaction.]
[No one's there but an entire school of luvdisc, hidden by the dark water but drawn to the moment like moths to a lamp.
When they part, Ryan is also almost relaxed. Kissing is soothing, but there's so much riding on this one that it's hard to stay in that space afterwards.]
Yeah! Yeah, I-- I never thought I'd even get to kiss you.
[He was always going to like it, because kissing just feels good. Ryan's always been a very tactile person though, so this probably isn't much of a surprise. Ryan talks about kissing Min-Gi like it's a privilege though, like it's something special to savor.]
What about you? Did you like it?
[It's so hard to keep his voice even, to not sound too desperate or too hopeful or too scared. Min will probably notice that Ryan squeezes his hand a little bit harder though, out of unspoken nervousness.]
[Min sounds a little incredulous. He knows how Ryan feels about him. He'd felt it every bit as strongly as his own feelings for Ryan while they'd been one person. Unreal as it seems at times, there's no doubting how much Ryan cares about him. How much Ryan wants to be with him.
But the idea of getting to kiss Min-Gi? That doesn't seem like much of a privilege. He should know how to kiss someone by now, but instead it's something he's studiously avoided. Something he finds himself surprisingly regretful of now he's actually done it. He knows he wasn't ready before (and maybe he still isn't), but there's a part of him that mourns the lost years where he and Ryan had kept their feelings carefully hidden.]
I liked it. I thought maybe I'd feel bad about it, but... I don't.
[It's a relief, not to feel guilty. He's sure he will if he thinks too hard about his parents and the things he knows they want from him, but mostly he's just happy. Relieved to have once again let himself pass the point where he can go back and do the things he should instead of the things he wants.]
[It was something that he'd never thought would have been a possibility even a few months ago. He didn't think it would ever happen outside of his wildest dreams, so it is incredible that he has this chance now - even if he's scared of ruining it.]
That's good. That's really good.
[Ryan raises his free hand up to cup Min's cheek, another thing he's secretly always wanted to do but could never justify. His jawline is so perfect, but that's just going to fluster him again if he says it out loud.]
I'm glad. It's not something you should have to feel bad about.
[Fuck everyone else. Ryan has wanted this more than words can say, and fuck their entire world for impressing on Min that it was ever not okay.]
[It's hard to buy it, especially when it's something Ryan's so good at already, but he's not about to ruin the moment by arguing with him. Everything already feels so fragile, and if it wasn't for Ryan's hand in his he's not sure he'd believe it was real.
He freezes when Ryan's hand comes up to cup his face. They're both used to being very physical with each other, even in ways friends usually aren't if they're somewhere private enough, but this is new. Intimate in a way neither one of them has been brave enough to try until now. He's worried his reaction will make Ryan think he doesn't like it, but he's not sure how to fix that so he just stays as he is, hoping desperately that Ryan won't move away.]
We could do it again. If you want to.
[Then, just in case that gives Ryan the wrong impression:]
I want to.
[He didn't think he'd want to again this fast. He'd thought he'd need time before he felt ready to kiss him again, but even though he's still nervous it's like a dam has broken. He wants desperately to know what it's like to feel Ryan's lips on his own once again.]
[It almost does - he wants it to be good for Min, not just something he does because Ryan wants to. But Min corrects himself and Ryan smile spreads.]
Me too.
[That's all he manages before leaning in again, kissing him with just a little more intensity. He's still keeping it simple, but he keeps his hand where it is for just a little more skin to skin contact.
Ryan could keep going for hours, already used to breathing through a kiss, but he's mindful of the fact that Min-Gi might need more air. Still, when their lips part he keeps their faces close. He finally moves his hand away, but tucks a stray strand of Min's hair behind his ear before pulling it back.
Maybe he should ask if that was still good, if this is still nice. However, a different question tumbles out of his mouth.]
Wanna try kissing me?
[Being the one to initiate it, he means. Min's had a figurative and literal taste, so maybe he'd like a chance to take the wheel.]
[Min shouldn't be surprised that it's a little more intense the second time, but it still manages to catch him off guard. It takes him a moment to start to respond, following Ryan's lead as best he can.
His instincts are right though... Min hasn't quite mastered the art of breathing through kisses. He's mostly actually been holding his breath, so he's breathless when they part, and a little flushed.]
Kissing you?
[He almost looks confused by the question. It's a daunting prospect when everything he knows about kissing are things he's only just learned, but maybe Ryan wants him to take charge. Maybe that's what he's trying to build him up to.]
Yeah. Sure. It can't be that hard, right?
[Min-Gi smiles uncertainly, lifting his hand up to brush Ryan's cheek with his thumb. It's more reminiscent of the way his mom had swiped dirt from their faces when they'd been younger than anything romantic, but then he lets his palm settle, cupping Ryan's face much like he had Min's before.
The kiss is more calculated with Min in control. He's still feeling things out, trying to remember what had felt good when Ryan had kissed him. He doesn't push beyond what Ryan had done, keeping things simple and a little hesitant, though that's something he tries to mask.]
[Min certainly doesn't have to if he's not comfortable with it. Ryan just wants to give him the space to try it for the first time while they're alone, to fumble and try while there's no reason for any pressure whatsoever.
But Min takes him up on it, and Ryan loves these little moments where he pushes past his own discomfort to try something new. Ryan knows him, and he knows it's brave of him.
Ryan leans into his touch, catlike, and lets Min try what he wants to. He's still an active participant, but he lets Min make the calls and follows his lead. In a lot of way it really feels like Min-Gi. Ryan kissed more intuitively, without a specific plan in mind, but Min-Gi is very deliberate in his movements. It's almost certainly because he's still learning, but someday he will know what he's doing and be able to find what feels good with pinpoint precision.
They part again soon enough, but Ryan is reluctant to pull too far away. He could stay within kissing range for the rest of his life.]
You're a really quick learner.
[There's a flush across Ryan's face that says this is the truth. He's doing well, and Ryan is very much enjoying himself.]
[Someone smoother might quip that Ryan's a good teacher, but that isn't Min-Gi. He's looking at Ryan the same way he used to watch their teachers as they handed out assignments he'd been worried about his grade on, waiting for his verdict. His shoulders sag with the same relief when he has assurance he didn't do terribly, but his smile is brighter than it had ever been for any school work. It's not one that Ryan hasn't seen before though. It's a smile Ryan's seen many times over the past year and a half or so. It's the same one has when Ryan likes something he's come up with for a song they're working on.]
Yeah?
[It's not disbelief, despite the question. He knows there's no chance this is the best kiss Ryan's ever had, but he also knows he isn't lying. He can tell Ryan's enjoying this, and that's nice.
Unlike Ryan, though, he's a little overwhelmed at this point. It's everything he always told himself he'd never have. Not in any way that would make him happy. Especially not with Ryan. He trusts Ryan more than he trusts himself, but it's hard not to feel like he's waiting for the other foot to drop even if he knows he's being irrational. He doesn't pull his hand from Ryan's, but he does lean back from kissing range, turning so he's facing the water again before glancing at Ryan from the corner of his eyes. That feels safer than looking at him directly right now. Even after talking he still doesn't fully know where they stand with each other. He thinks he does, but he needs to hear it from Ryan before he can be secure that's where they landed.]
[Ryan lets him pull back, but he doesn't turn back to the water. He takes his other leg out of the water and sits up a little to give Min some personal space. He pulls up a knee to use as both an arm rest and head rest, and it's cozy. They only had a couple of kisses, but Ryan feels good about this. Sure in a way that he wasn't before.
And if Min can be brave about it all, so can he. He can ask for what he needs. He smiles, a playful tilt to his voice.]
Maaaaybe we are. But.
[He nudges Min a couple of times with his foot. Min isn't looking directly at him, but Ryan is still looking at him as though he'll meet his eyes eventually.]
--only if you can ask me to my face. If we're boyfriends now, I mean.
[Ryan is trying hard to keep it light, but inside his heart is pounding. He's already berating himself for being a moron for not just jumping on something he's wanted forever, but...he needs to know Min can say it. He needs to know this is a relationship, and not just him moving into Min-Gi's closet.]
[Ryan's nudging is annoying, but it does the trick. Min-Gi looks over at him, eyes narrowed with suspicion at what the 'but' could be. Poorly disguised irritation turns to confusion at his terms. He'd just asked him, hadn't he? It doesn't seem fair to make him ask again, but Ryan is being patient with him. He's not unaware of that.
It's hard, but if that's what Ryan wants, the least he can do is ask him again. Hopefully in whatever way he's actually looking for this time.]
Are we? Boyfriends?
[He gives Ryan's hand a squeeze, both to reassure himself this is okay and to show Ryan that despite any hesitation this is what he wants. It scares him, and even now he isn't sure he's ready, but he's wanted it for so long now and it's not an opportunity he can afford to throw away without even trying.]
[The change is subtle but if anyone will see it, it's Min-Gi. Ryan's smile brightens into something genuine, wide and full of relief and excitement. He squeezes Min-Gi's hand right back, and when he speaks he's almost breathless.]
Yeah! We're boyfriends.
[They're boyfriends! They're boyfriends! It's all very exciting and new and Min-Gi can even look at him and not be ashamed to be with him. It's so much, but in the best possible way.
Ryan unlaces their fingers, but before there's time to even miss the contact he pulls Min into a tight hug. He doesn't want to totally overwhelm Min, but it does comes with the tiniest little kiss to the cheek - quiet proof that Min did exactly what he was hoping for.]
[Min-Gi sees it, and it makes his heart flutter to see Ryan happier. Especially when it goes from simple confirmation to a full on embrace.
His cheeks were already pink, but he only goes redder when he feels Ryan's lips on his cheek. It still doesn't feel quite real, but it's a gesture he could easily come to love.
He's more than happy to return the hug, pulling his feet out of the water so he can turn to hold him more fully.]
I love you.
[It's only something they'd started saying recently and briefly, but it's something he'd missed since they'd realised their true feelings. It makes Min nervous to say it again, without the pretense he only means it platonically, but it's a relief too. It makes him happy he doesn't have to hold back the truth from Ryan anymore.]
[The answer is instant, an echo. All of the nervousness it's held every time Ryan's said it back, as though Min would see through it and instantly know it was more than platonic, is gone. They both know exactly where they stand in this moment, and they're both saying exactly what they mean.
I love you so much.
[He's never loved anyone the way he loves Min-Gi, in this way that makes his heart full to the point that it might burst. He's so happy that his words come out as a light little laugh, relieved to be able to just...be in love with Min-Gi, in a way that was never possible before.]
[It's so nice to hear it back, and know exactly the way Ryan means it, rather than it just being another way to push the boundaries of their friendship in a way that's maybe not normal but is still acceptable enough. At least between the two of them.
There isn't that little pang of sadness, or guilt for being deceptive. He can just be happy, and let himself feel loved in a way he never thought was possible.]
We could go back to the tent? If you wanna practice kissing some more...
[Min's trying to sound casual, but he's full of nervous energy at the prospect of kissing again. Much as he's enjoyed it so far he knows has a lot of improving to do if he's going to match up to Ryan.]
[Ryan pulls back from the hug slightly, just enough to look at Min when he responds, mere inches apart. Just enough to tease a little.]
Sure, man. I'm always down for kissing practice.
[Not that he actually needs much practice, but he very much enjoys kissing Min-Gi, teaching him what feels good and learning what feels good to Min. Ryan could happily spend the rest of his life kissing him, over and over and over.
He doesn't kiss Min now though, not yet - Min did say he wanted to go back to the tent after all. So instead he pushes himself upright and stands, and then offer Min a hand so he can do the same.]
[Min's laugh is a little awkward. It's a lot nicer to be on the receiving end of Ryan's flirting than it is to watch it go down, but it's a new feeling to have it directed at him and not one he's used to yet.
Even so, he grabs his runners and lets Ryan bear the brunt of pulling him up. He's built up muscles of his own with all the time they've spent on the road, both here and back in their own world, but honestly? He kind of likes the reminder of how unexpectedly strong Ryan is, and now there's no reason to pretend he doesn't. Why shouldn't he get to take advantage of his boyfriend's guitar muscles?]
Thank you.
[He rewards him with a small kiss on the cheek, switching which hand he has in Ryan's so he can keep holding it on the way back to the tent.]
[Somehow he wasn't expecting the kiss to the cheek, and it makes him beam from ear to ear as though he's never been kissed before. It's new and exciting, but more importantly it's a clear sign that he isn't just pushing Min into this - Min wants this and Ryan in turn feels wanted and loved.
He doesn't respond with words, but he laces their fingers together the moment he's able to and squeezes Min's hand. Together, they head back to the tent for even more make out practice.
And it's just as well - as they walk away, too focused on each other to notice, a couple of luvdisc leap out of the water in happy little excited arcs.]
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no subject
Dude, that's not weird at all. I mean...we're already closer than most people are. We kinda got a head start on a lot of what goes into a relationship, I think? So...that makes sense. What we have with kissing makes sense.
[He does neglect to add the "sometimes" that followed kissing, and he decides now isn't the time to bring up that he'd like to work their way up to fooling around someday. But what they have with kissing? That feels easy to do.]
So. If it's what we have but with kissing...do you want to try it? See if you like it?
[So casual. So nonchalant. Like their entire future isn't hanging on whether or not they like kissing each other. Like Ryan hasn't spent forever wishing he could kiss Min-Gi.]
I-I mean! That's probably a good bar, right? If you don't wind up being into it, we can just...keep doing what we already do, and maybe it'll be alright? Probably?
[And maybe, if Min-Gi doesn't wind up liking it, Ryan can be satisfied he got to kiss him even once.]
no subject
Min-Gi forgets how to breathe for a minute, staring at Ryan with wide eyed terror. He's never kissed anyone before. What happens if Ryan thinks he's bad at it?
Or...
God.
Why is Ryan hinging it on whether he likes it? What happens if he doesn't? Are there people out there who just don't like kissing? Is that a thing that can happen? What are they supposed to do if he doesn't like it?
After a silence that stretches on for far too long, Min-Gi nods tentatively. There's only one way to know for sure, and putting it off isn't going to help him feel any less nervous.]
Yeah. If you want to.
[Totally cool. Totally casual. He edges a little closer to Ryan, trying to ignore how much it feels like his heart's about to explode.]
So what kind of kiss are we going for here...?
[This is so very, very not normal pre-kiss conversation, and even he's aware of that. He desperately doesn't want to screw this up by doing things wrong though.]
no subject
He also knows perfectly well that Min-Gi has absolutely no idea what he's going for, but he doesn't seem to mind that either. He inches closer as well, pulling one leg out of the water and turning so they can face each other.
It is through sheer force of will that he doesn't chuckle at Min pretending to be more confident and calm about this. He promised he wouldn't laugh, and he won't, but it's very cute in the face of their first kiss.]
Shhh. I told you; I'm going to help you figure it out.
[Min-Gi doesn't have to pretend he knows what he's doing, because Ryan will gladly take the lead. Blindly, he reaches down to find one of Min's hands, so he can lace their fingers together. Their faces are already so close.]
Tilt your head a little? Opposite of me.
[Ryan shows him what to mirror, a slight tilt to the side so they won't bump noses. This puts them so close that Min will feel Ryan's words, warm against his lips.]
Follow my lead. Okay?
[Then, Ryan leans in and closes the gap between them. It's gentle, because he can't imagine a first kiss with Min-Gi not being gentle and soothing, especially when they've been so worried about everything. No tongues, no teeth - just the smallest amount of pressure and soft movement. Easy to mimic little things, like focusing his attention at Min's lower lip, and finding a simple rhythm to their motions.
But most importantly, it's slow. He takes his time with it, to gauge how Min reacts.]
no subject
There are plenty of things Ryan can do better than him, but these days they usually stick to their strengths, letting the other pick up the slack in their weaker areas. It's strange to find himself in this position now. It's nice, but leaves him a little uncertain even if he knows Ryan isn't about to judge him.
He starts to mirror him before he's even told to, lifting one leg out of the water to face Ryan, and leaning in instinctively when he does.
He does glance around briefly, as though someone may have appeared to intrude on their private moment. There's no one there, of course. It's just as much their own quiet space as it has been the whole afternoon.
When their lips touch it's awkward and he doesn't know quite what to do, but Ryan is gentle and patient. It isn't too difficult to mimic him, and by the time they part he's almost relaxed.
Almost.
There's still a clear nervousness in his expression as he looks at Ryan to see his reaction.]
Did you like it...?
no subject
When they part, Ryan is also almost relaxed. Kissing is soothing, but there's so much riding on this one that it's hard to stay in that space afterwards.]
Yeah! Yeah, I-- I never thought I'd even get to kiss you.
[He was always going to like it, because kissing just feels good. Ryan's always been a very tactile person though, so this probably isn't much of a surprise. Ryan talks about kissing Min-Gi like it's a privilege though, like it's something special to savor.]
What about you? Did you like it?
[It's so hard to keep his voice even, to not sound too desperate or too hopeful or too scared. Min will probably notice that Ryan squeezes his hand a little bit harder though, out of unspoken nervousness.]
no subject
[Min sounds a little incredulous. He knows how Ryan feels about him. He'd felt it every bit as strongly as his own feelings for Ryan while they'd been one person. Unreal as it seems at times, there's no doubting how much Ryan cares about him. How much Ryan wants to be with him.
But the idea of getting to kiss Min-Gi? That doesn't seem like much of a privilege. He should know how to kiss someone by now, but instead it's something he's studiously avoided. Something he finds himself surprisingly regretful of now he's actually done it. He knows he wasn't ready before (and maybe he still isn't), but there's a part of him that mourns the lost years where he and Ryan had kept their feelings carefully hidden.]
I liked it. I thought maybe I'd feel bad about it, but... I don't.
[It's a relief, not to feel guilty. He's sure he will if he thinks too hard about his parents and the things he knows they want from him, but mostly he's just happy. Relieved to have once again let himself pass the point where he can go back and do the things he should instead of the things he wants.]
no subject
[It was something that he'd never thought would have been a possibility even a few months ago. He didn't think it would ever happen outside of his wildest dreams, so it is incredible that he has this chance now - even if he's scared of ruining it.]
That's good. That's really good.
[Ryan raises his free hand up to cup Min's cheek, another thing he's secretly always wanted to do but could never justify. His jawline is so perfect, but that's just going to fluster him again if he says it out loud.]
I'm glad. It's not something you should have to feel bad about.
[Fuck everyone else. Ryan has wanted this more than words can say, and fuck their entire world for impressing on Min that it was ever not okay.]
no subject
He freezes when Ryan's hand comes up to cup his face. They're both used to being very physical with each other, even in ways friends usually aren't if they're somewhere private enough, but this is new. Intimate in a way neither one of them has been brave enough to try until now. He's worried his reaction will make Ryan think he doesn't like it, but he's not sure how to fix that so he just stays as he is, hoping desperately that Ryan won't move away.]
We could do it again. If you want to.
[Then, just in case that gives Ryan the wrong impression:]
I want to.
[He didn't think he'd want to again this fast. He'd thought he'd need time before he felt ready to kiss him again, but even though he's still nervous it's like a dam has broken. He wants desperately to know what it's like to feel Ryan's lips on his own once again.]
no subject
Me too.
[That's all he manages before leaning in again, kissing him with just a little more intensity. He's still keeping it simple, but he keeps his hand where it is for just a little more skin to skin contact.
Ryan could keep going for hours, already used to breathing through a kiss, but he's mindful of the fact that Min-Gi might need more air. Still, when their lips part he keeps their faces close. He finally moves his hand away, but tucks a stray strand of Min's hair behind his ear before pulling it back.
Maybe he should ask if that was still good, if this is still nice. However, a different question tumbles out of his mouth.]
Wanna try kissing me?
[Being the one to initiate it, he means. Min's had a figurative and literal taste, so maybe he'd like a chance to take the wheel.]
no subject
His instincts are right though... Min hasn't quite mastered the art of breathing through kisses. He's mostly actually been holding his breath, so he's breathless when they part, and a little flushed.]
Kissing you?
[He almost looks confused by the question. It's a daunting prospect when everything he knows about kissing are things he's only just learned, but maybe Ryan wants him to take charge. Maybe that's what he's trying to build him up to.]
Yeah. Sure. It can't be that hard, right?
[Min-Gi smiles uncertainly, lifting his hand up to brush Ryan's cheek with his thumb. It's more reminiscent of the way his mom had swiped dirt from their faces when they'd been younger than anything romantic, but then he lets his palm settle, cupping Ryan's face much like he had Min's before.
The kiss is more calculated with Min in control. He's still feeling things out, trying to remember what had felt good when Ryan had kissed him. He doesn't push beyond what Ryan had done, keeping things simple and a little hesitant, though that's something he tries to mask.]
no subject
But Min takes him up on it, and Ryan loves these little moments where he pushes past his own discomfort to try something new. Ryan knows him, and he knows it's brave of him.
Ryan leans into his touch, catlike, and lets Min try what he wants to. He's still an active participant, but he lets Min make the calls and follows his lead. In a lot of way it really feels like Min-Gi. Ryan kissed more intuitively, without a specific plan in mind, but Min-Gi is very deliberate in his movements. It's almost certainly because he's still learning, but someday he will know what he's doing and be able to find what feels good with pinpoint precision.
They part again soon enough, but Ryan is reluctant to pull too far away. He could stay within kissing range for the rest of his life.]
You're a really quick learner.
[There's a flush across Ryan's face that says this is the truth. He's doing well, and Ryan is very much enjoying himself.]
no subject
Yeah?
[It's not disbelief, despite the question. He knows there's no chance this is the best kiss Ryan's ever had, but he also knows he isn't lying. He can tell Ryan's enjoying this, and that's nice.
Unlike Ryan, though, he's a little overwhelmed at this point. It's everything he always told himself he'd never have. Not in any way that would make him happy. Especially not with Ryan. He trusts Ryan more than he trusts himself, but it's hard not to feel like he's waiting for the other foot to drop even if he knows he's being irrational. He doesn't pull his hand from Ryan's, but he does lean back from kissing range, turning so he's facing the water again before glancing at Ryan from the corner of his eyes. That feels safer than looking at him directly right now. Even after talking he still doesn't fully know where they stand with each other. He thinks he does, but he needs to hear it from Ryan before he can be secure that's where they landed.]
So... We're boyfriends now?
no subject
And if Min can be brave about it all, so can he. He can ask for what he needs. He smiles, a playful tilt to his voice.]
Maaaaybe we are. But.
[He nudges Min a couple of times with his foot. Min isn't looking directly at him, but Ryan is still looking at him as though he'll meet his eyes eventually.]
--only if you can ask me to my face. If we're boyfriends now, I mean.
[Ryan is trying hard to keep it light, but inside his heart is pounding. He's already berating himself for being a moron for not just jumping on something he's wanted forever, but...he needs to know Min can say it. He needs to know this is a relationship, and not just him moving into Min-Gi's closet.]
no subject
It's hard, but if that's what Ryan wants, the least he can do is ask him again. Hopefully in whatever way he's actually looking for this time.]
Are we? Boyfriends?
[He gives Ryan's hand a squeeze, both to reassure himself this is okay and to show Ryan that despite any hesitation this is what he wants. It scares him, and even now he isn't sure he's ready, but he's wanted it for so long now and it's not an opportunity he can afford to throw away without even trying.]
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Yeah! We're boyfriends.
[They're boyfriends! They're boyfriends! It's all very exciting and new and Min-Gi can even look at him and not be ashamed to be with him. It's so much, but in the best possible way.
Ryan unlaces their fingers, but before there's time to even miss the contact he pulls Min into a tight hug. He doesn't want to totally overwhelm Min, but it does comes with the tiniest little kiss to the cheek - quiet proof that Min did exactly what he was hoping for.]
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His cheeks were already pink, but he only goes redder when he feels Ryan's lips on his cheek. It still doesn't feel quite real, but it's a gesture he could easily come to love.
He's more than happy to return the hug, pulling his feet out of the water so he can turn to hold him more fully.]
I love you.
[It's only something they'd started saying recently and briefly, but it's something he'd missed since they'd realised their true feelings. It makes Min nervous to say it again, without the pretense he only means it platonically, but it's a relief too. It makes him happy he doesn't have to hold back the truth from Ryan anymore.]
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[The answer is instant, an echo. All of the nervousness it's held every time Ryan's said it back, as though Min would see through it and instantly know it was more than platonic, is gone. They both know exactly where they stand in this moment, and they're both saying exactly what they mean.
I love you so much.
[He's never loved anyone the way he loves Min-Gi, in this way that makes his heart full to the point that it might burst. He's so happy that his words come out as a light little laugh, relieved to be able to just...be in love with Min-Gi, in a way that was never possible before.]
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There isn't that little pang of sadness, or guilt for being deceptive. He can just be happy, and let himself feel loved in a way he never thought was possible.]
We could go back to the tent? If you wanna practice kissing some more...
[Min's trying to sound casual, but he's full of nervous energy at the prospect of kissing again. Much as he's enjoyed it so far he knows has a lot of improving to do if he's going to match up to Ryan.]
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Sure, man. I'm always down for kissing practice.
[Not that he actually needs much practice, but he very much enjoys kissing Min-Gi, teaching him what feels good and learning what feels good to Min. Ryan could happily spend the rest of his life kissing him, over and over and over.
He doesn't kiss Min now though, not yet - Min did say he wanted to go back to the tent after all. So instead he pushes himself upright and stands, and then offer Min a hand so he can do the same.]
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Even so, he grabs his runners and lets Ryan bear the brunt of pulling him up. He's built up muscles of his own with all the time they've spent on the road, both here and back in their own world, but honestly? He kind of likes the reminder of how unexpectedly strong Ryan is, and now there's no reason to pretend he doesn't. Why shouldn't he get to take advantage of his boyfriend's guitar muscles?]
Thank you.
[He rewards him with a small kiss on the cheek, switching which hand he has in Ryan's so he can keep holding it on the way back to the tent.]
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He doesn't respond with words, but he laces their fingers together the moment he's able to and squeezes Min's hand. Together, they head back to the tent for even more make out practice.
And it's just as well - as they walk away, too focused on each other to notice, a couple of luvdisc leap out of the water in happy little excited arcs.]