chickenchoicejudy: Ramblings of a Lunatic - Bears in Trees (Would anyone listen to this?)
Ryan Akagi ([personal profile] chickenchoicejudy) wrote in [personal profile] outofsynth 2023-07-24 11:28 pm (UTC)

[Ryan's face falls as Min's does. His hand feels empty without Min's in it, so he mirrors him and sets his hands in his lap, twiddling his thumbs from nervousness.]

...I don't know.

[It's definitely not the answer Min wants, but it's the most honest one Ryan has. He looks down at his hands and sighs, stretching it out as long as he can.]

I mean, I know what I would want if it didn't work? I'd want to stay, obviously. Be the kind of exes that can still be friends. But, like...in every relationship I've ever been in, I was always the one who fucked everything up. I was always the one driving someone to a gas station because they couldn't stand me anymore or getting kicked out the next morning, so...

[He shrugs, as if that finishes the sentence for him. It doesn't, but it lets him sort of reset and try again.]

...not that I think you'd, you know. I've just sucked as a boyfriend every time and like, everyone has their limit of how much of someone's bullshit they can put up with. So...I don't know what would happen? But I want to try, if...you still do.

[Ryan hasn't looked at Min this entire time, but he chances it once that's all out. He has to know how Min is taking this, or if he's just digging his own grave here.

Min isn't the only one who's scared. Ryan's terrified of this failing, even though he's never wanted anything more in his entire life.
]

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