[Their mind has always been this scattered, or at least Ryan's has. Their shared memories push and pull, sparking new additions as one thought sparks another and another.
For every secretive glance Min cast Ryan's way, there's a different memory of Ryan doing the same. In middle school at the diner. Being wallflowers together at a school dance because slow dancing wasn't even a possibility. Here in the Pokémon world, curled up in a hammock together as if there was no where else they would rather be, when Ryan is sure Min is asleep.
They miss the Parks. They remember those dinners and they come with echoes of other feelings, of wanting to belong with them. Different from how Min-Gi wanted to please them, a longing for something that wasn't really his. There's a memory of drying dishes at the sink with Min, a secret pleasure in knowing where the plates and glasses go in his house. If Ryan had been a girl, maybe they would have said Ryan would be lucky, but then he shakes away the thought because it's not like two dudes can get married. An older memory echoes that sentiment and adds that it isn't like anyone would stick around long enough anyway.
For every comment they remember from Min, there's another waiting in line from Ryan. Some asshole in high school Ryan never bothered mentioning, name already forgotten. Ryan nursing a hot coffee and nothing else at some shitty gas station listening to someone with opinions that are a little too loud about a supposed "gay cancer", oblivious to him being there. A huge fight with a girl in his van about who he was or wasn't looking at, ripping apart his identity every step of the way until she demanded he let her out of the car. They remember intense rejection, and chucking a magazine in the garbage even though the important parts were all burned into their brain forever.
The biggest mistake Bowie ever made was being exactly like Ryan.
All of these swirl with Min-Gi's memories, not just intertwining but skipping like a scratched record from moment to moment. Their head is spinning, and they grip the side of the sink as they look in the mirror, searching for someone they can't quite see.]
I...we're okay. It's a lot, but...I'm a lot. We're a lot.
[First self-deprecating, then literally. They are literally two people; they are objectively going to be "a lot".]
no subject
For every secretive glance Min cast Ryan's way, there's a different memory of Ryan doing the same. In middle school at the diner. Being wallflowers together at a school dance because slow dancing wasn't even a possibility. Here in the Pokémon world, curled up in a hammock together as if there was no where else they would rather be, when Ryan is sure Min is asleep.
They miss the Parks. They remember those dinners and they come with echoes of other feelings, of wanting to belong with them. Different from how Min-Gi wanted to please them, a longing for something that wasn't really his. There's a memory of drying dishes at the sink with Min, a secret pleasure in knowing where the plates and glasses go in his house. If Ryan had been a girl, maybe they would have said Ryan would be lucky, but then he shakes away the thought because it's not like two dudes can get married. An older memory echoes that sentiment and adds that it isn't like anyone would stick around long enough anyway.
For every comment they remember from Min, there's another waiting in line from Ryan. Some asshole in high school Ryan never bothered mentioning, name already forgotten. Ryan nursing a hot coffee and nothing else at some shitty gas station listening to someone with opinions that are a little too loud about a supposed "gay cancer", oblivious to him being there. A huge fight with a girl in his van about who he was or wasn't looking at, ripping apart his identity every step of the way until she demanded he let her out of the car. They remember intense rejection, and chucking a magazine in the garbage even though the important parts were all burned into their brain forever.
The biggest mistake Bowie ever made was being exactly like Ryan.
All of these swirl with Min-Gi's memories, not just intertwining but skipping like a scratched record from moment to moment. Their head is spinning, and they grip the side of the sink as they look in the mirror, searching for someone they can't quite see.]
I...we're okay. It's a lot, but...I'm a lot. We're a lot.
[First self-deprecating, then literally. They are literally two people; they are objectively going to be "a lot".]